Depressions of Haru

2010/09/08 22:41
Hello guys : D this blog isnt the typical "hey-this-is-a-stupid-entry" one, I dont really know why am I even thinking/planning/writing of this right now, (probably because I'm sick thats why I think things negatively) =<

anyway lets start my ranting. ; A ; I need to release this tension / depression before I started to kill someone with no reason.

Going to Canada

Last year, my mom asked me "Do you want to live here in Canada?" I was so happy that time that I didnt think about it and gave a happy "yes". Seeing that I would leave Philippines and start a new life would be fun and awesome. Besides the new life we're facing, I wanted to leave the Philippines due to the fact that we have to leave a "certain people" who made our life miserable as how it is right now. I hate them so much that I cant even look at them straight when I'm facing them. and I blame them for all my miseries in life (I know, blaming someone is stupid, but I cant help it) and probably the last reason is that I would have 2-3 hours away from nyaa's timezone (nyaa= my bestfriend. It was the time I'm still playing Trickster). But theres a sudden swing of events that made me stop playing Trickster and started singing on youtube. Right now I have a bunch of asian friends. I feel really happy while chatting with them, but now I'm going to Canada,Leaving them is like the worst pain that I experience so far, since these guys aren't just my chatmates, I considered them as my irl friends already. I am already "attached" to them. We already attended conventions, hang out doing nothing in a mall, watched movie together, go to a very far place that were not familiar with. when I think of it, I tried not to cry since.. i found it useless to cry with people whom youre gonna see someday right? So I always tried not to cry, and just gave a happy face to them. But one night, Suroy and I talked on skype

[05/09/2010 11:33:27 PM] Howard Alt+tab: sinsabi ko (I was saying)
[05/09/2010 11:33:30 PM] haru ・ 春: : D?
[05/09/2010 11:33:32 PM] Howard Alt+tab: panu kung wala na si haru (what if Haru was gone)
[05/09/2010 11:33:45 PM] Howard Alt+tab: anu p dahilan natin kung bkit pa tayo magkikita kita (what else would be our reason to have meet ups?)
[05/09/2010 11:33:54 PM] haru ・ 春: looooool XD
[05/09/2010 11:33:55 PM] haru ・ 春: ddr : D
[05/09/2010 11:33:56 PM] Howard Alt+tab: di naman to dahil lang kay haru lang (all our meet ups was just because of haru)
[05/09/2010 11:33:57 PM] haru ・ 春: gelato XD
[05/09/2010 11:34:01 PM] haru ・ 春: ; A ;
[05/09/2010 11:34:03 PM] haru ・ 春: aww ; A ;
[05/09/2010 11:34:07 PM] haru ・ 春: ang sweet ; A ; (thats so sweet)
[05/09/2010 11:34:09 PM] Howard Alt+tab: enis to enis
[05/09/2010 11:34:11 PM] haru ・ 春: fffff
[05/09/2010 11:34:16 PM] haru ・ 春: i feel like crying ; A ;

and suddenly a tear drop fell into my eyes. I was like "wait. what. why am I crying?" I wiped it using my hands then suddenly a bunch of tears continued to flow, I couldn't stop it. As an former guildleader, I was used on people who just come-and-go to your life. I believe that online people wasn't permanent as it is. But this guys, these people, taught me that people aren't come and go. I love you guys. you know who you are. My flight would be on Sept 14 2010, 9:00 am in the morning, my schedule is full right now, and I'm really sorry I cant meet with you guys anymore. I really really wanted to see you guys for the last time, But I cant. So..I'll make it up to you guys. Lets just have a conference talk before I leave ? : D

oh dear. I typed long XD
so yeah.
I think that ends my depression D=



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QAQ hunn its ok to cry, I know that reason why you want to leave,
don't regret about leaving, your life in Canada will be more beautiful, I know, Its hard to accept that you're leaving, but I will try, no.. we will all accept that you are leaving the Philippines,
and you're not actually leaving us, you're still in our hearts :D
take care always, good luck, *kisses* I love you <3

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GHSKJAGHSKJASGHA FFFFFF I wanna cry cuz I won't be seeing you anymore FFFF ;A; MY FIRST EVER CON WAS WITH YOUUUU DDDD: I will miss you haru ♥ yes confe before you leave ;w; and look at the bright side you can meet ytc peepz from canada 8D stalk porn for me -shot- LMAO anyways Ily haru :* wag mo kami limutan /o/


Cry when you need to nee-san, cry it all out. Though even if I'm a nobody to you now nee-san. Be Brave- be brave for all the people that cares for you.

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